Eve

I am surrounded by strong women. strong. type A women. They are the ones who usually get themselves to medical school. I am one of those "How did she get to medical school?" stories. And not only are these women strong, but they are focused, disciplined, and not easily swayed by the oppinions of other people. I, however, am easily persuaded, easily confused, so very indecisive. I realize this is dangerous.

I am like Eve in the garden. It was the woman who was deceived, not the man. I do not want to be an easily persuaded woman. I want to stand firm with my eyes fixed on truth. Maybe I am getting too many ideas mixed up here. But either way, I need to be careful, lest my tendency for persuasion be used for the downfall of others around me.

End of life reflections ought not to be at the end of life...

I went to hear a godly man who has stage four lung cancer speak today. He is Dr. Yang Chen, the founder of the Medical Strategic Network, and a legacy when it comes to medical evangelism training and spiritual care. He spoke about how since his illness, God has opened up more doors than ever before to speak the Gospel and bear witness to God's reality. It is amazing to see this man give testimony of God's goodness and testify that his hearts desire truly is that God be magnified through his cancer. One thing that struck me is that he said his life schedule and plans didn't change significantly even when faced with death. He had already been living in such a way that not much changed. His God was still the same. His goals were still the same. He was and is a very intentional man. He urged us to live in such a way that when you look back on your life, you see that you did not hold back and that you did not waste it. He said that the end of life forces everyone to examine how they are living and make changes, but that these reflections are ill timed when we wait for that time to come. Now is the time to examine your life. The faith steps that God is calling you to, are callings to grow and be used now.

He states that when he was a young medical student, he was so timid that even his mentor described him as the type of person who if he saw his reflection in the mirror would startle himself. But now look how God has used him mightily to influence people all over the world and generations of practitioners testify to their lives being significantly impacted through his simple obedience and faith steps. He examined his life. I want to live like that.

Loving the Unlovely

It's hard to love people who hurt you intentionally. Hard to serve them. Hard to fight the good fight and not the BAD fight. My flesh cries out to fight the bad fight and hurt them back, either actively or passively. But this is not the way of Jesus. He has died for her. He has loved her. He has yearned for her.

So I know that God asks me to love her also. He asks me this not only because He loves her but because He loves ME. He knows that the fullness of JOY for ME is in following Him. He will meet me on the other side.

God, if obeying you is what enables me to KNOW YOU MORE, then there is nowhere else I want to be.

Loving the unlovely brings me to the place of knowing You more.